Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Overheard . . .

"Yeah, there's this show called "The Office" you can download from iTunes. Is it still on TV?"

"He could have shot a button buck, but I guess you don't want to do that. It's like shooting your grandmother. You just don't want to do that."

Sunday, November 18, 2007










(Thanks to Jesse for help with re-sizing the photos to fit Blogger.)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Love Cruise

I have been negligent in not sharing photos from the wonderful evening with family and friends aboad the Holland Princess on July 19th. For those who made it, thanks for sharing this special evening with us! And for those who wanted to be there and couldn't make it, here's the first installment of "The Love Cruise."



We had delicious dinner and then sat back to hear lovely wishes of congratulations and best wishes from the guests, led by Pam's son Derek. Mixed in were a few jokes directed at Dman, by unnamed persons who will be pictured later.

Monday, October 01, 2007

I couldn't help borrowing this from: http://branthansen.typepad.com/letters_from_kamp_krusty/2007/09/conscientious-o.html







And for more toast entertainment, check out this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BILAFuSi-i0

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


The Official Date

Here's what you've all been waiting for (after a few tentative attempts at nailing down a date for our ceremony). It's Thursday, July 19, at 7:00 p.m. in the beautiful Dutch principality of Holland, Michigan. Plans are for a dinner, followed by a sunset (or close to it) ceremony.

All of our beloved nieces and nephews are invited to join us for this special occasion, as well as other CC family blog lurkers. Invitations forthcoming.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

In-ad-vertency

The Boston Globe
Why 'nappy' is offensive
By Zine Magubane April 12, 2007

"WHEN DON IMUS called the Rutgers University basketball team a bunch of "nappy-headed ho ' s" he brought to the fore the degree to which black women's hair has served as a visible marker of our political and social marginalization."

Immediately below article:

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Thursday, April 19, 2007


It's Official, Folks!

My love said "yes!" as you might guess from this picture.

The date is Saturday, July 21. We've decided to have a private ceremony but invite everyone to meet Pam (and as many of her family that can come) at the Hillman get-together on or about July 4.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Lee Side of the Mountain

Wandering through Colorado Springs on the lee side of the Rockies, I'm lefting wondering if I've seen purely indigenous habitants or simply universal variants:

1. At the Colorado City Goodwill Store (which stores, by the way, always imbue me with a renewed sense of pride in being able to have other people dispose of my junk), I stood in line behind a young, slightly counter-culture couple (very early twenties), both of whom were buying boots, his a pair of well worn cowboy boots that he immediately donned upon exiting the building. What caught my attention was the duct tape wallet protruding from his back pocket. Clever that, I thought. Looks like he made it from duct tape. Then I observed that they were driving an ancient Toyota hatchback whose tailgate had been generously shoved forward several inches by a rear-end collision. Holding the tailgate to the chassis and the glass to the tailgate was a more than generous supply of, yes, of course--duct tape. Clever that.

2. The most gorgeous, lustrous, thick, wild, celtic-esque mane of blonde streaked with pottery red that I have ever seen caught my eye several yards down the block. Long, down to mid-back and encasing the head in a wavy helmet of hirsute wonder. Walking toward the seated person from behind, I wondered how any woman could possibly maintain this riot of a hairdo without a fulltime assistant and a bucket truck--until the gentleman stood up and turned towards me, and I realized that I was perhaps looking at the last surviving, honest-to-Haight Ashbury hippie that never made it over the mountain for the '67 summer of love. And I wonder if he's spent the last forty years thinking of what might have been.

3. A U-haul moment: a VW bug with a class II trailer hitch (that's for 3500 lbs. of gross weight with a 350 lbs. tongue weight). He could haul (or try to haul) ten sumo wrestlers up the mountain, one of whom was standing on the rear bumper. Whatever he's towing, I just want to be way ahead of him or way behind him going down the mountain.

4. Friendly gnosticism shared freely via bumper sticker: "We are not physical beings having a spiritual experince. We are spiritual beings have a physical experience."

5. Mr. bike-riding, skin-cancered, bathing-challenged, spray-bottle-toting, $90-a-month-disability-check homeless man who offered to clean my windshield for a dollar, and asked with such resigned politeness and amiability that I couldn't say no. He remembered the name of a band from Detroit when I mentioned I was from Michigan. I had never heard of them, and he remarked wistfully, "You don't hear much about them anymore, I don't know why." He took his time and did the job right, accepted some money, and thanked me most sincerely, looking back with a smile when I said, "You take care of yourself."

Sunday, March 25, 2007


Rocky Mountian Hi

Sitting in the eastern shadow of Pike's Peak today, blue-sky, puffy-cloud Colorado mountains' majesty surrounding me. Just wondering. . . .

Do you have to be evangelical to eat at Panera Bread on Sundays for lunch? Seems like most of the crowd is. And they're not much into laptops.

Had a wonderful evening interlude with a blonde Belgium on Saturday. Smooth, silky, easy on the eyes and easy to like. In fact, easy to want to know better. Doug, you are so right in so many ways. Jesse, I have come to the West and been converted.

If I go down to Old Colorado City, can I avoid the the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory? Why is the flesh always willing but the spirit weak?

Towering over me to the north is Ft. Dobson, the faux Colonial brick fortress compound of Focus on the Family, not to be confused with Focus on Republicans. I read once that it is a major area tourist attraction. Just wondering: will Dobson's demise elicit a "final resting place" furor similar to that engulfing poor Billy Graham? If you've not heard of Franklin's plan for a gauche Disneyesque burial site, visit http://www.religionnewsblog.com/16819/billy-grahams-sons-in-feud-over-parents-burial-site. The barn pictured above begins the visit to the memorial site with a talking cow. Really.

Perception-reality collison? In Blue Like Jazz, author Donald Miller wrote: “At the end of each month I would start biting my nails, wondering what account owed me money or whether or not I would pick up any writing assignments. There’s not a lot of work in the Christian market if you won’t write self-righteous, conservative propaganda. I write new-realism essays. I am not a commodity.” Of course not. That's why his Thomas Nelson bestseller now has more than 775,000 copies in print, and he is the "not angry, just ironical" young man of religious literature.

My collorary to Acton's Law: Being a commodity tends to corrupt and being a very popular commodity corrupts completely. Good luck, Don, but I wonder if the pendulum of self-righteousness doesn't swing both ways. You've made it this far--so far, so good.

OK, the natives are showing up now. Time to go look at the mountains.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

From All Under and Over

Sailor Man surfaced in Honolulu long enough for the boat to dump the Seal Team mini-sub shelter on its deck and go back to being a "real submarine." Why? Because there are only, like, two of these things in the whole Navy and another sub needs to "borrow" it. Either that or AJ traded it for several cases of beer and nacho chips. This week they go back to sea for three weeks, under water like a "real submarine." Wait--isn't that what "submarines" do, really?

A new slogan for Brit Land--"England, a Robin Hood theme park every day!" Really, it's a little intimidating, visiting places where they qualify their statements by saying, "Of course, this part of the building only dates from the early 1400s." Granted, it's not Egypt, where the pyramids were already ancient a thousand years before that. But still fairly cool.

Saturday there's a travel show at our house--come over if you'd like to see the 262 digital shots we took. Or say to yourself, "Thank God we don't live close enough to go!"

And, for the mildly-to-seriously interested, Dman is now, by mutual agreement, one-half of a formal couple. She is a fan of Riesling and "The Office," which, I believe, are a good combination. Hopefully, fans of "Hope for Living" will not be crushed by the news that Depressed Man has retired from show biz.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Merry Olde England

J$ and I are on the hunt for the elusive roots of the Jolli, Jolly, Joyliff, Jolliffe, or Jolliff family roots, no matter how its spelled.

Today we drove from the midlands to the Welsh border to visit Hay-On-Wye, a border town fought over by the Welsh and English for centuries until an enterprising resident turned it into the used book capital of the world--over 30 book shoppes along with antique and craft shoppes. Then a four-hour drive back across the midlands, highlighted by a wrong turn that took us up over the highest mountain in sight where we saw a working rock quarry and a highland commons where sheep had free-range of the road.

Tonight we are in Leek, the hotbed of Jolliff history. Tomorrow the vicar is letting us into the tower of St. Edward Anglican church to track down a plaque from the 1600s.

As for the driving, Densmark leads J$ in curbs struck by the front left tire and the number of times the wipers were engaged rather than the turn signals (they're reversed for right-hand drive). But we've both managed to stay on the left. We've even decided to vote Labor in '08.

Friday, February 16, 2007

The Helpful Soul

Didn’t make the CBA Advance Christian trade show in Indianapolis last month? Conflicted over the crass cross-fertilization of consumer capitalism and middle-class Churchianity? Fear not—the Helpful Soul was there, trend-spotting for you. New stand-out products:

The Smiling Cross—water bottles, cups, desktops items decorated with the cross. Nothing unusual there except this cross has a set of eyes and eyebrows above each side of the crossbeam, slightly upturned at the ends, forming a smiley face. Yeah, freaked me out, too. Check out www.smilingcross.com for more. Or less.

Duraword Waterproof Bible--the ultimate Bible for the outdoorsy crowd—withstands water, ice, and sun (-60 to 120 degrees F) on its special synthetic paper. Includes only the New Testament, Psalms, and Proverbs in the well-weathered King James Version. Promotional brochure proclaims “The anchor in the storm”—not once, but twice on the front cover. Evidently useful for boaters. Visit www.duraword.com.

Beelieve—been stung by high-priced beauty care that fails to promote health and well-being for body and spirit? Check out the bath and body care products made from honey and beeswax on the family farm. Promises to “cleanse inside and out” and “provide balance for a better life.” Not really sure how it cleanses out the inside, but it's supported by Scripture, sort of—“Bee-lieve on the Lord Jesus Christ” Acts 16:31, slightly modified. Un-bee-leavably—no website.

Deco Eyewear—need to achieve the maximum in worldly coolness and style, like Bono, while maintaining a subtle but distinctive Christian witness without a bumpersticker? Check out the designer style sunglasses with the discrete fish symbol above the right eye—decoeyewear.com. When you want to be a witness. . . just barely.

And a new line of Jesus figurines—or are they action figures? You decide. In either case, there’s Harley-bikin’ Jesus, soccer Jesus, skateboard Jesus, rock-climbin’ Jesus, hang ten Jesus, bull ridin’ Jesus, and somewhat inexplicably, “Will work for food” Jesus. Each Jesus is dressed appropriately and authentically for the given activity, AND wears a crown of thorns and a white robe. Yes, really amazing. Coming in 2007—fire fighter Jesus and paradoxically, car crash Jesus (what? Jesus didn’t do driver’s ed?). Or is it Nascar Jesus on a bad day? Still can’t conceive of it? Visit www.WeAreFishermen.com. As they say, un-bee-lievable.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

SB is SB'd

Sailor Boy surfaced in Honolulu this week and was sun-burned (admittedly better than frost bitten). Seems he is now senior man for prepping the con tower on the surface, so he got a lot of time topside, watching the gentle green waters of the Pacific under clear skies and 80 degrees. He's also spent a lot of time at the helm underway. I admit that it's still somewhat disconcerting to think that the high school kid who hit three deer, a road sign, a dump truck, a parked car, and maybe a mailbox or two, is steering a 485 ft. nuclear submarine. But maybe he's really not sailor boy, but sailor man now. I think he even parallel parks it (when they make a pizza run). God speed, USGN 726.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Helpful Soul

For single female readers, the Helpful Soul offers the following information, gleaned from Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies by Jared Diamond. The author observes that of the world's 148 "big wild terrestrial herbivorous mammals" that could possibly be domesticated, only 14 were so domesticated by humans. Curious, we think--only 14?

The author lists six reasons that the majority of species failed domestic duties, which, it strikes the Helpful Soul, are directly applicable to the failure of male homo sapiens to achieve similar domestication in relationship to female members of the species. So, readers of the female persuasion, take note of why many mammals, and perhaps men, failed to be usefully domesticated:

Diet--when an animal eats another animal or plant, the conversion of food to body mass is less than 100% efficient, usually around 10%. This efficiency curve, therefore, rules out many potential domestication candidates. Male humans, however, are the inverse to this rule, being 150% efficient in the conversion of food to bio-mass, by means of Lazyboy, couch, and TV remote, thereby rendering them mostly stationary domestic objects.

Growth rate--the best candidates for domestication need to grow quickly. Among animals, this rules out elephants and gorillas as good food sources. In humans, it also rules out most men, since their growth rate, emotionally at least, is measured quite often in multiple decades. As medical science increases life spans, the growth rate to maturity may also increase to centuries.

Problems of captive breeding--many animals, due to complex, if not bizarre, matings behaviors will not reproduce in captivity, thus ruling them out of the domestication race. Surprisingly, many male homo sapiens show a persistent avoidance behavior to captivity, but not to breeding. This renders them less reliable as partners in the nurturing of young humans and in "calling you later."

Nasty disposition--large mammals that might otherwise be good candidates for domestication fail due to the fact that they are rather nasty, such zebras who bite viciously; or that they tend to eat humans, such as grizzly bears; or that they have personal hygiene and anger management issues, such as male humans.

Tendency to panic--large mammalian herbivores that tend to group together in the face of danger are easier to domesticate. Those that are nervous, flighty, and tend to run, such as deer, antelope, and single males homo sapiens, are not.

Social structure--mammalian herd animals, such as horses, that have dominance hierarchies, imprint on a leader, have overlapping territories, and tend to bunch up will survive well in pens and will imprint on a human leader in the process of domestication. Herd animals that are territorial, that feature competition between males for breeding, and lack the ability to submit to dominance do poorly in domestication. Bighorn sheep, rhinos, and male homo sapiens tend to be the later.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Hula Skirts Are Flammable

Unlikely to hit the news, but there was a fire on the USS OHIO on Saturday. Sailor Boy called at 1:00 a.m. Sunday to tell me he was OK--and that woke me up immediately since any late night call from SB saying he's "OK" means there's a much bigger back story.

Seems a motor caught fire in the ventilation system, highly ironically, during a fire drill; so they had to cancel the drill and have the real thing. Fortunately, they were at dockside and not underwater.

Of course, it could be a cover story for someone accidently setting their hula skirt on fire. Or maybe not.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Sailor Boy is now Hula Boy

SB/HB has landed in Honolulu, staying at a "luxury" Navy housing high-rise, affording a 15-story view from the top floor of Pearl Harbor and Wakiki. It's luxury because each man has a private room with cable TV and a queen bed. But it won't last long--for the next several months, the sub will have 260 people on board instead of 150, which means alternating a bunk with someone (and he didn't get to choose the someone).

So far he tried to get caught up on sleep, visited the Arizona memorial, and went to the beach. Today (Wed) the sub arrives, and they do a crew change. From then on it's mostly work and no shore leave. They will, however, get to do some live fire practice with various guns and torpedos. The bright spot is a lay-over in San Diego on the way home to Bremerton in May--something to look forward to. As Grandpa Squire always said, "Stay out of Balboa Park!" Of course that advice stems from 1944.

SB/HB sends his love to all.
The Ladies, God Bless'em


"The Woman’s Missionary Union president, Mrs. W. J. Cox, was invited to give the report for 1929. A number of men objected and introduced a resolution that 'we earnestly protest the president of the W.M.U. or any other woman addressing this Convention.' It appeared Mrs. Cox might not be allowed to speak, but the convention president, George W. Truett, said firmly, 'Brethren, let us hear the gentlewoman.' Truett’s powerful personality carried the day, but even so some men walked out. In addition to her report, Mrs. Cox could not refrain from ad-libbing, 'No woman went to sleep in the garden. No woman denied Him. No woman betrayed Him. But it was a woman, acting in intuition, who tried to save Him.'"

From Women in Baptist Life by Leon McBeth (Nashville: Broadman Press, 1979, p. 120).

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Musing by Fake Fire

Sitting on the comfy leather furniture at Panera Bread and wondering if one can find the same degree of familiarity and inspiration in front of a ceramic firelog and gas flame as an honest-to-goodness wood-fed hearth.

True story: once I visited Uncle Pike and Aunt O at their home on East Paris, not long after they moved there. It was in the winter with about four feet of snow in the yard. Pike had a car that was buried under a snow bank. It was that deep.

For some reason (which violated all reasonableness), we decided to have a fire in the fireplace after the kiddies had gone to bed. O wisely decided to leave the boys with their project and retired as well. This required an Artic trek to the barn, approximately fifty yards behind the house and across an ice-filled ravine to fetch firewood. Through the hip-deep snow. Green firewood and possibly wet as well.

Using paper, cardboard, and maybe a small coffee table, we succeeded in starting a sputtering, smoky fire. After forgetting to open the damper, we also accidently fumigated the house. Finally, enjoying our small triumph, we lounged in front of the hearth and waxed philosophical. Or waxed something. Maybe shoes.

After enjoying the toasty coziness, it was time for bed. The fire was slowly dying, ("and my dear, we're still goodbying. . . ."--that has nothing to do with the story. I just like the clever lyrics of "Let It Snow"--until it becomes predictable sentimental twaddle.) But I digress. . . .

There was no fire screen and the carpet was too close to the fireplace. So the fire had to be put out, and we had a smoldering, ember studded log to deal with. Put the fire out? Why not "out" as in the "out the front door"? Why not indeed?

Opening the front door, Pike and I use various tools--fireplace tongs, pokers, meat forks, maybe a cookie sheet--to heave the log into a snow bank in front of the house, where it angrily hissed its displeasure at us for some minutes. No, wait--we should have used a cookie sheet because we still scattered ashes and fire specks across the living room carpet.

No problem. Out came the vacuum and in a few minutes, we had cleaned up the ashes and bits of ember. They were now deposited in a paper sack under high air pressure. Shortly the vacuum began to smoke as the bag caught fire. Thinking quickly, we yanked the cover off the vac, dismounted the bag, and heaved it into the snow bank, where it expired with demure sigh.

Boys and fire . . . the Stone Age's gift to the modern world.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

A Little Bit of Chaim

"Will you come back to America?"

"I do not know. It would be pleasant. But I have never done the pleasant things. Still, it would be very pleasant to return to America. This is a great land. But Americans do not know what to do with its greatness. It will be wasted."

Jakob Daw in Davita's Harp by Chaim Potok

The More Things Change

Sunday morning at Mars Hill, rocking with the David Crowder Band. I was thinking of all the similarities to the church of my childhood:

1957: Elvis wears a white belt.
2007: Rob Bell wears a white belt.

1957: Neighbor named Jack Daniels has a goat.
2007: David Crowder has a Jack Daniels goatee.

1957: All the boys are wearing Keds.
2007: All the boys in the band are wearing Keds.

1957: One square dude on the platform.
2007: One dude of a square platform.

1957: Singing ". . . like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee" and thinking, "What's a fetter???"
2007: Singing ". . . like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to Thee" and thinking, "What's a fetter???"

1957: Standing room only for all services.
2007: Standing in the room for all of the service.

1957: Greatest desire: to be right.
2007: Greatest desire: to be N.T. Wright.

1957: Don't forget the offering.
2007: Don't forget the "joy boxes."

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Truer Words Seldom Spoken

"Well, I'll tell you, Dubin. Why we need God. Why I need God. To forgive us," he said then, and with the words his anger almost instantly subsided to sadness. . . . "Because when this is all over, this war, that's what we'll need, all of us who have done what war requires and, worse, what war permits, that's what we'll need, in order to be able to live the rest of our lives."

General Roland Teedle in Ordinary Heros by Scott Turow

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Make Mine with Cream Cheese

"I read such an interesting article on Gnosticism the other day," chips in Mr. Local Parson, . . . It referred to that splendidly readable book by--" He says a name that sounds like Inane Bagels, but I realise it's probably Elanie Bagels--or maybe Elaine Pagels, since the "b" sound was more of a pop than a blast--but Mr. Local Doctor, not listening, says irritably: "I don't understand this Gnostic stuff. What's the core premise?"

From The Heartbreaker by Susan Howatch

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Year's Restitutions

To M and J: sorry for all the craziness in 2006. My new word for 2007: mental health (technically two words). You bring me joy, even when the toast lands honey-side-down in the yard.

To J and R: thanks for blessing us with a part in the process of forming little humans. Sign me up for another "Night with Grandpa" (see new word above).

To D and E: thanks for sharing your first night in your own home with me. Don't know how to make up for that but will try.

To A: wish you were with us more but someone has to do what you do (except Quakers, Mennonites, Amish, and Jehovahs Witnesses). Stay safe.

To family and friends: I can't ever repay your kindness and love this past year. But I'd like to try.

To V: You would be so proud of them all. Thinking of you, this week of our 33rd anniversary.